6 of Disks: Success

And today the card arrives upright. I feel good. Eating better. Trying to find plugs for the camera. Made an omelette. Enjoying physicality. Gonna have a shower but may have a bath instead. Moon in Taurus card. Mmmm. Calm. Serene. Even posted pictures of Nature up on Facebook. I see how the upright side plays out and I am digging it.

Jul 29: Six of Disks (reversed)

Had this one before. I'll have to look up when. Coins relating to the physical stuff. Body. Health. Money. Reversed, I'm feeling a bit off today. Ate late. Should get better on that. Structuring and scheduling eating. The chimney was swept today for its annual check up. Moon in Taurus - getting home comfy. It's working.

Had a chat today about business, including my work in some big business plans. Would cost (Taurus) and not sure how I feel about that (Moon). Do I have enough cash to do that or better spent elsewhere?

Message today came from a close friend - money that is your own will return so there never is a need to worry. She's a Taurus (Moon in Taurus card here) so she's a good one to listen to. She's doing well. She said that 'why be tight with it. Money is energy. Better to let it evaporate so you'd get a downpour'. I liked that. What goes around comes around. Spend to receive. Quality advice.

What is success to me? Being at ease and comfortable where I stand.

Reversed I think is my uncertainty and not feeling surefooted. Reflected in my body today. V spacey and dreamy (tho I have a Moon/Neptune square leaving right now too). Ill see what tomorrow brings.

7 Swords (reversed)

7 Swords. Futility. Moon in Aquarius. Emotional Distance. Mental overrides emotional. Specially reversed when Aquarius is at the top of the card now. And all these other niggling thoughts (swords) vying for attention from the bottom of the card, attacking, nagging, enticing, tempting (?) the larger thought. I feel like that today. Ideas of meeting people, wasting time online. Whats the main thought I guess is the question?

Reversed shows trickery, deceit but what is the lie and who is being lies to? Another? The self?

So i think first off, since this card is reversed and inverted towards the self it's more coming from the self and not fully explored or conscious. So let's look at that. What do I WANT. And what else is coming at me? Keep the main thought in mind. And not sabotage that thought with lots of smaller ideas vying for attention. The mind can hold a lot of various thoughts but theres no use playing it off against itself. That causes fragmentation and chaos. Keep the main mind still and strong and calm. Moon in Aquarius could show a cold detached perspective is in order but that I can't take emotion out of the picture entirely. Feel how each thought feels and see if I want to proceed.

My second 6 in a row - the number of Balance, Harmony, Peace. Reversed, so perhaps the message is still internalized - a place I seem to be spending a lot of time these days. "Success" is relative - to the feeling (moon) of satisfaction (Taurus) perhaps? Feeling rich (Moon//Taurus) inside (reversed). In that case I am truly wealthy and truly successful.

Feel good factor card. Quietly. Inside. Food in the fridge and cupboard, and I watched cooking shows today, including the Extreme Cake Challenge on TV. Mmmmm.

Science: 6 Swords (reversed)

Mercury in Aquarius. Thinking rationally. Logic. Balanced (6) mind (air). Reversed, too much cold hard headedness. Technology. TV. Internet. Lack of emotion in thinking.

Today I had to deal with calling (Mercury) the phone company and pay bills, try and cancel one number for another, and was faced with a No,since its a prepaid phone.

maybe mental stalemate - things to do, but not enough time perhaps (we woke up late). Not acting. Thinking of what could be done. Unusual ideas. Perverted thinking (I like that one). Just being in the mind more I think today than operating on the feeling level.

Also was seeking the cable to upload the photos from Js phone.

In the Rider Waite, it shows passage over water (over emotions). Equilibrum (unrocked boat).

NB: Bought a flatscreen TV today!

Princess of Wands (reversed)

Today, we're off to San Francisco for 4th of July - a day celebrating independence. This card seems to reflect the idea of personal independence, from a spiritual perspective - free fire (earth of fire) grounded, but still free to roam. Untamed. Wild. Young at heart. being a child.

Reversed, the card didn't seem to show up in any unconscious way today, I guess I internalized its images. The tiger didn't grab me by the tail today, I was merely free to float and feel fine with the world. FIRE showed itself in the firework we watched while heading on he freeway back to the Creek. I like this card for its freshness and freedom. Every moment is changing and we can change alongside it. This card was a reminder today.

The Moon (Reversed)

I start this blog with the card representing my Sun Sign - Pisces. I have begun looking at addiction, one of the themes of this card. Today I begin my process of weaning myself from Internet Porn, and talking to people and the idea of meeting people for sex. So this card is a good start.

Reversed, I think the message is to do more internal work. Today, I must look at the symbols and images I use inside myself, the "myth" i build myself upon, or create about myself. The illusion of separateness or victim hood. How much am i unknowingly surrendering and losing myself to something? Is it healthy? I'll get to see the softness today and how I veil it from myself and others with "hard" behavior - a factor I am sure in my addiction. Today I break free from illusion.

With the Moon reversed, the Scarab is at the top of the card. The things skulking in the shadows can no longer torment me because they have been brought out into the open and the light of conscious awareness, instead of the shadow of the dark side of the Moon, where secrets fester.

The conversation with J last night helped. I outed myself and what I have been doing and it helped enormously.I am now free to create a cleaner inner world. And I feel I 'll begin to see signs of this transformation outside.

The Moon is home, the unconscious, feelings, patterns, childhood, conditioning, the Unconscious, dreams, symbols, fantasy, addiction, magic. Today I'll focus on the internal images I keep and define myself by, or reject. And I'll start choosing better ones that suit the image of who I'd like to be and where I'd like to go.

Easy goes, gently does. I am excited for this new beginning.Today I no longer "use" Internet porn, or seek sexual highs with strangers. I am committed to breaking the chains of this past that doesn't feed me, but keeps me locked up with images and ideas that are transitory, illusions and based on my lower shadow nature. I do not reject these, I merely know they are projections on a screen. I am neither good nor bad, angel nor devil. Neither clean nor dirty. I do not attach to any label now. I feel my way ahead. By being conscious, present and aware.

What is motivating my unconscious?